hey sheldon, what’s up?
the ceiling, of course
[extensively long laugh track, continuing on for minutes, breaking on hours. audience members are slowly dying of laughter, unable to stop. the actors want to cry out in grief for them to stop, but they are on set. it is a massive tragedy]
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SOMEONE TELL ME WHO THIS GUY IS
Russell Howard is a national treasure.
*starts crying* i just really like mashed potatoes
"what music do you like?" is such a stressful question like what do you want to know??? genres?? artists?? albums??? time periods?? 25 most played?? what i’m currently listening to??? what i listen to at different times of the day?? be more specific??????
"You married me in front of people!"
favourite rachel outfits | season 4
i know i give white people a lot of shit but u guys are really nice. like when the light turns green and there’s a white pedestrian that’s almost across the street u guys always do that jog thing. i know it’s kind of insignificant but i appreciate it white people. u and ur half jog thing.
i think about this post every time i do the half jog thing
JJ gets a childhood, a dad, a real family, and a basketball hoop? (…) Why couldn’t you have been that for me?